Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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