Porn is love you can see.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
