Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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