your parents love me but you hate me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
