i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
