Apparently you make a good broom.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
