worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found puke in my bra..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
