...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
