The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
