jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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