you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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