Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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