so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
