Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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