I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
