You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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