he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
