everyone is single if you try hard enough
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
