Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
