Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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