he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
