Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
