last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
