Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
