theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
there is puke in my bra ... again
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