Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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