Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
