How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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