yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sober January is a disaster.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
