she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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