all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
