what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
