I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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