I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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