? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
