She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
