i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
