I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
