She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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