Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
