no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
