I'm drive I can fine osifer
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
