Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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