The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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