And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
