So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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