he wants to bone in the snuggie
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
