she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
