It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
