dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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