I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
