K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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