I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
